Post off...again.
Laying in the hospital, waking up from surgery. Same feelings, same pain...how many times????
I have decided that I do not like hospitals. That complete helplessness of doing for yourself. Totally dependent on others for everything. Leaving total control to basically complete strangers. Don't get me wrong, I have had great care and I think am a very compliant patient. However, no one really wants to be there and the reasons they are there are not good ones.
I am now into the why me phase of this third cancer journey. It wasn't enough to go thru it two other times? Please tell me this is not Karma.......I am just feeling sorry for myself and have to keep telling myself there are so many others in this world that have it so much worse than me...and there really are.
I am doing great considering what I have gone thru, but it hurts and I am weak (not my best feeling) and of course the depending on others. Especially Jennifer, she has enough on her plate and I feel guilty and proud. Not everyone have children that will take care of them when needed and I am very fortunate to have her.
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